I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
