She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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