hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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