Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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