I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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