Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
