one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
