I don't usually arrange sex via text message
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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