Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
