Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
