i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
