Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
