Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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