HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
