I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
it's like iHOP with fire
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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