At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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