So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
