bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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