Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
