You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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