i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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