Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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