dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
