I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
How external is "for external use only"?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
