Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
