The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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