Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
