It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
