I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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