It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
