just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
