After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
