We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
