Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
