I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
