well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
