are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
