I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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