you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
