Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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