You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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