return my video game
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
