We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
