Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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