hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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