I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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