I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
