Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
