I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
