Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
