If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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