I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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