Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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