Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
