So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
