You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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