The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
