I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
