i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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