I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
