Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
