3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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