i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
