Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
