I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize