I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
