I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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