Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
